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Reposting from soc.culture.burma



Subject: KPLF TAKES OVER MAYMYO...
Date: Sat, 20 Nov 1999 17:34:36 +0100
Organization: mail2news@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Newsgroups: soc.culture.burma

COMMUNIQUE #11-01/99

COMMAND AND STAFF, KULLAH-HPYU LIBERATION FRONT (KPLF)

1.  AT THIS TIME, THE KPLF LEADERSHIP IS IN CONFERENCE WITH REPRESENTATIVES
OF THE SPDC, TO INCLUDE COLONEL KYAW THEIN, MASTERMIND OF THE MTA
SURRENDER, AND LIEUTENANT-COLONEL HLA MIN, THE SPDC'S VERY OWN MEDIA DARLING.

2.  ON THE AGENDA IS THE SIGNING OF A CEASEFIRE BY THE KPLF WITH THE SPDC.
NOTE THE USE OF THE TERM "CEASEFIRE", NOT "SURRENDER".

3.  AS OF THIS DESPATCH, SPDC HAS AGREED TO DESIGNATE THE CITY OF MAYMYO
(PYIN-OO-LWIN) AND SIX SURROUNDING TOWNSHIPS AS "SPECIAL ZONE #13".  KPLF
WOULD HAVE COMPLETE AUTONOMY WITHIN THIS AREA, AND ASSUME POLITICAL,
ADMINISTRATIVE, AND ECONOMIC CONTROL OF SAME.

4.  KULLAH-HPYUS (ANGLO- AND INDO-BURMANS) WOULD ALSO BE RECOGNIZED AS ONE
OF THE "NATIONAL RACES", ALONG WITH KARENS, KACHINS, SHANS, MONS,
ARRAKANESE, CHINS, AND OF COURSE, THE WA. (HAS ANYONE ACTUALLY EVER MET A
WA WHO WASN'T CHINESE?...SAME FOR THE KOKANG FOLKS.)

5.  THE DOWNSIDE IS THAT WE WILL HAVE TO PARADE AROUND, APPEAR ON THE NEWS,
AND GENERALLY ACT CONTRITE, LIKE WE'VE SEEN THE LIGHT OR SOMETHING.  THE
SPDC'S DEMANDS ARE STILL A BIT VAGUE, BUT WE'VE BEEN WATCHING HOW THE UWSA,
KIA/KIO AND OTHERS HAVE TURNED THE STATUS OF BEING A CEASEFIRE GROUP INTO A
LICENSE TO PRINT MONEY AND ACHIEVE SOME DEGREE OF REGIONAL PROSPERITY.  THE
SPDC DOESN'T DARE MAKE A MOVE IN THE KACHIN STATE WITHOUT ASKING PERMISSION
FIRST. THE WA GET RICH IN NARCOTICS.

6.  THE KPLF'S ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT PLAN FOR SR#13 IS PRETTY BOLD, AND IS
GOING TO REQUIRE PLENTY OF FOREIGN MONEY.  WE HAD THOUGHT OF DOING
ECO-TOURISM AND THE LIKE, BUT FROM THE LOOKS OF THAILAND IT ATTRACTS PLENTY
OF DIRT-BAG HIPPIES AND DOESN'T REALLY DO THE ENVIRONMENT A DAMNED BIT OF
GOOD.  WE'VE SETTLED ON RAISING COFFEE AND AMARANTH, AS WELL AS ESPECIALLY
GOOD STRAINS OF BASMATI RICE.  YUPPIE COMPANIES IN THE WEST HAVE ALREADY
WRITTEN A BRILLIANT MARKETING PLAN, AND STARBUCK'S IS HAPPY WITH THE FIRST
BATCH OF "SALWEEN ARABICA" BEANS WE'VE MANAGED TO SHIP THROUGH THE PRC,
COMPARING THEM FAVORABLY WITH JAMAICAN BLUE MOUNTAIN BEANS.

7.  WITH ALL OF THE MONEY, OUR FIRST AND SECOND PRIORITIES WILL BE
EDUCATION AND PUBLIC HEALTH.  WE'VE STRUCK TENTATIVE DEALS WITH SOME
WELL-KNOWN UNIVERSITIES IN THE U.K. AND THE U.S. TO OPEN BRANCH CAMPUSES IN
MAYMYO AND HSIPAW. GETTING PRIMARY EDUCATION UP AND RUNNING ON SOME SANE
FOOTING IS A GIVEN MSF HOLLAND AND FRANCE WILL COME IN TO CONDUCT A
LIGHTENING ASSESSMENT OF PUBLIC HEALTH NEEDS DOWN TO THE VILLAGE LEVEL,
THEN OVERSEE BUILDING, STAFFING, AND SUPPORT OF HEALTHCARE CENTERS.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS GRAVY, SO TO SPEAK.

8.  IF WE SEE THIS DEAL THROUGH, WE WILL HAVE TO MAKE RULES UP AS WE GO
ALONG.  POLITICALLY WE'LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE NLD WHEN WE COME TO THAT
BRIDGE.  WE ARE PRETTY UNIFIED IN THOUGHT, DEED, AND PURPOSE, BUT AT SOME
TIME AFTER ASSUMPTION OF CONTROL OF SR#13, ELECTIONS ARE IN ORDER.

9.  I PERSONALLY DON'T PLAN TO STAND FOR ELECTION; FRIENDS IN BC, CANADA
HAVE SENT ME SEEDS TO RAISE ANOTHER POTENTIALLY VALUABLE CROP, THE
LEGENDARY "BC BUD".  SO I WILL RETIRE FROM THE FIELD AND BECOME A GENTLEMAN
FARMER OF SORTS, A COSMIC APOTHECARY.

10.  KPLF COMMAND AND STAFF READS SCB DAILY.  IT'S THE ONLY SOURCE OF NEWS
ABOUT WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING IN RANGOON, THE CITY OF 10,000 POINTS OF
IDIOCY.  WE QUERY YOUR READER'S VIEWS AND COMMENTS ON THIS LOOMING DEAL
WITH THE SPDC; WE WOULDN'T BE HERE IF WE HADN'T ENJOYED SOME SUCCESS ON THE
BATTLEFIELD AND ACTUALLY BEGUN TO POSE A THREAT THE SPDC'S PLANS TO
BURMANIZE SHAN STATE.

11.  AS A REMINDER, BOXING DAY (26TH DECEMBER FOR YOU AMERICANS) IS THE
FOUNDING DAY FOR THE KPLF.  WE ASK ALL OF OUR OVERSEAS SUPPORTERS TO
PROUDLY WEAR THEIR BOWLING SHIRTS, 6-ELEPHANT BRAND SANDALS, AND LONGYIS
THAT DAY, AS A SMALL GESTURE TOWARDS TRUE SOLIDARITY.

HSAI MURPHY,
C&C
KULLAH-HPYU LIBERATION FRONT
HSIPAW, SHAN STATE

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